The struggle is real
Ladies and gentlemen, first of all… the struggle is real.
The more time passes by, the more I feel like this whole adulting thing isn’t really for me.
Is it somehow possible to unsubscribe from this chapter? Go back to coloring books and playing in the yard?
If it is, I’m totally in! Apparently, adulting is all about figuring out your life: finding proper work, an apartment, or getting married. Or for some of us: learning how to survive.
Adulting is confusing, challenging and full of high expectations. We tend to compare our lives to others. And more often than not, it seems like some of your (much younger) friends have it all figured out. They have a full-time job, a commited relationship or a brand new house. And yet, here you are, existing. Trying to keep your head above the water with this part-time job you hate, living paycheck to paycheck while dating as asshole. Or: Totally not having your crap together. It seems that others are reaching their full potential and you’re kinda just…winging it.
The real truth
As a recent graduate, I feel the pressure of finding a full-time real job. A few months ago, it all sounded quite easy:
- Finish university
- Find a real job
- Live your best life
The only thing I have checked off of my list is that (expensive) university degree.
Let’s be honest (again) : Job hunting is a full-time (voluntary) work. You spend hours and hours polishing your CV, writing different cover letters, finding job opportunities you want to apply for. And all of that to not to even hear back from most of them. It is incredibly frustrating and tiring!
As a result, you start thinking: maybe I should just work a regular job and maybe one day get to work on my dream job. Maybe right now I should give up on my ambitions and desires.
Or maybe you have a job you are not satisfied with. Or a passion you want to pursue. You have the opportunity to do it every single day, and yet: there is no motivation and drive to change your status quo.
The real question: Do you want it?
It is so easy to just sit there and say, ‘I want this!’
The reality is: You do not feel like you really do. Or it feels like you are just never working hard enough for it, no matter how hard you really tried. It just feels like it is not good enough and you are not moving from that dead spot.
Well, let me tell you: you are not alone. Adulting is hard and complicated. And there is absolutely no pressure of having to have it all together RIGHT now.
So what if you are unemployed?
Or if you want to travel instead of starting your first real job?
What happens if you are unsure what you want to do, where to move or what career you want to pursue?
So what if everyone is engaged and you are as single as it can be?
We all have our time, our pace and our survive and thrive periods. We all struggle, question things and fall short.
What we all forget is that is it normal. It is part of growing and getting ready for what is coming our way.
As much as you appreciate all those friends and family who keep telling you it will get better, that statement does not make you feel any better. It does not provide you with the answers on what to do and where to go. It does not find you a spouse, and it totally does not get your life together for you.
The best part of adulting: your life does not have to be always figured out. Who said you need to have it all figure out by a certain age? Or who said you need to do things in order others are doing them? So what your classmates have their dream job or their wedding date planned out, and you do not?
Stay in your lane
Only because you are not doing the same exact thing people around you are, it doesn’t make you more or less successful. Every single person has their own pace, their own ambitions and their own path.
Therefore, simply: Take a deep breath. Take your time.
None of the decisions you make today will have to influence the rest of your life or cannot be changed in case they are not the right ones. Only because things are not perfect now, it does not mean they won’t be tomorrow.
Therefore, sit down, write down your priorities and slowly start working towards them. Take those baby steps in order to be able to walk confidently one day. Take those little steps every single day. Keep moving! Even if you have no clue where you are heading, pack your bags full of hope and take that first step.
Always remember how simple it is: crappy life, better life, the best life.
So chin up!
The struggle is real, but it never lasts forever. 😉